The Power of Routines:  Building Simplified Habits to Help Moms Navigate Anxiety and Depression

Rachel Goldman, PhD “When people don’t have a routine or structure to their day it can cause increased stress and anxiety, as well as overwhelming feelings, lack of concentration and focus.” 

Laying in bed with tears flowing down your face from overwhelm and losing sleep is no way to live.  The to-do list increases and there’s not enough time in the day.  And right when you felt you could handle life’s challenges it all falls apart.  Now, getting out of bed seems pointless just like everything you do.  It’s probably easier to “not” do.  A question I dare to ask you is, “Is it really too much for you?”  Or is it the lack of or complication of routine?  Let’s discover the power of routines:  building habits to help moms navigate anxiety and depression together.

Building Habits to Help Moms Navigate Anxiety and Depression

1. Proven Benefits of Routines

I realized after sitting at my desk for 15 minutes without moving that I was exhausted.  After having only a little over three hours of sleep, all I wanted to do was crawl into my bed and disappear.  But of course, as a mom, there were a million things to do in the next six hours.  There was no way to check out.  I had to keep moving and doing.  The sense that there had to be a better way was never-ending.  Cause, if there wasn’t an answer, anxiety and depression, were going to crush me.

You see, I had a routine set in place that worked for a while.  It worked well even when those small, unexpected things came up, I was okay.  However, today I was done.  The fact was that my routine had expanded into a million things that were purposeless for me.  I needed to simplify my life and my habits.  Feeling more focused and productive became my new mission.  “Screw you anxiety and depression, I got you beat” became my new mantra.

When I began to build simplified habits into a routine, I began to navigate anxiety and depression as if it never existed.  My life changed because:

• Routines support cognitive function,
• I regained control of my daily life,
• Routines provided extra time and energy,
• Life became intentional and,
• I was in a constant state of flow.

It took several small steps to build a routine with simplified habits.  At times I didn’t see immediate results.  I still remained consistent, and it helped.  Most importantly it was worth it.

2. Why Routines are Challenging w/Anxiety & Depression

Anxiety and depression can throw a monkey wrench into everyday activities.  It can leave you feeling like you cannot do anything right, especially the simple things.  When I state routines are challenging with anxiety and depression it is. 

Why? 

It is challenging because the voice of depression tells you cannot do it and the voice of anxiety is busy making connections to the thousands of negative outcomes.  Also, the more you do the more accomplished you feel.  However, doing doesn’t equal accomplishment and that is why you are burning out. 

When you burn out then you fall back on depression and anxiety as the reason, and it gives a sense of impossibility.  Then creating a routine with simplified habits becomes too much.  Winging it through the day creates daily chaos.  Instead of building simplified habits you simply quit because you lack the energy and motivation to do so.

The great news is that there is a way for you to effectively build simplified habits that make a W.O.W. routine that works for you.  Despite the reason why routines are challenging with anxiety and depression.

3. Keys to Building Simplified Habits Today

Sharing the keys to building simplified habits today is an honor that I respect.  The hope that they work as well for you as they did for me is lighting me up right now.  Here are the keys and a breakdown of why they work so well.

• Base your habits on your natural energy flow.
• Outline daily activities for better focus.
• Focus on adding one simplified habit per month.
• Habits should be purposeful, intentional, and productive.
• Time block for the most important to-do.

Are you a morning person?  Perhaps evenings work best.  Neither one matters.  The only reason why you will consider this is to plan out your day.  For that to-do that requires your most energy conquer it at your natural energy flow time.  Warming up to this by completing some simpler tasks and then the must-do work wonders.  Always use your energy wisely.

Although we cannot design our next-day or current-day flow, we can do our best to minimize disruptions.  How do you do that?  Outline your daily activities and always leave space for that unexpected moment.  If there is no expected moment, you just earned yourself some M.E. (mommy empowerment) time. 

The most important key that is the most difficult for moms, do not overdo it.  How many times has it happened, you get really excited about the transformation you can experience, and you overload yourself?  Goal:  lose 20 lbs.  You start exercising, dieting, drinking water, and weighing yourself every day.  Your body and mind are experiencing a huge overhaul and by day 5 you notice you have gained a couple of pounds.  Well, that was pointless, right? We all know that it’s wrong, but your motivation dies down quickly.  So, set a goal and only do ONE thing.  Set one simplified habit to achieve that goal every 30 days.

There are many things that each of us must do daily.  You breathe on autopilot.  It’s something that comes naturally for our survival.  However, is your breath intentional?  Practicing taking deeper breaths and being aware of your breath can calm anxiety.  It can also help focus your mind so that you can think of gratefulness and productivity instead of the rush of the day.  That’s a simplified habit. 

And when there is one task that must be completed.  You know that one thing that is not a “normal” to do but must be done.  Time block for that one activity.  If it is an activity that causes stress, split up the time block.  You can either add something creative to do before that time block and/or after.  If it’s a task you are completing at home, only time block for 30 minutes at a time or whatever works to ease the overwhelm. 

There are many strategies to create simplified habits that will become routine.  When you have a routine in place you can navigate anxiety and depression.  It will become second nature to navigate from chaos to calm.

4. Navigate from Chaos to Calm

Starting the day off in a rush to head off to work, making sure everyone has their school lunches, stepping on a toy on the way up the stairs, and forgetting your purse in the house as you back out of the driveway is chaos.

Beginning your day in chaos easily leads to anxiety and depression.  However, you navigate your life.  You can choose an alternative that works for you.  And while I understand that therapy and medications work for many of us to quiet the chaos.  It does not work for all.  This is my focus.  There are alternative methods that can be used for moms to navigate from chaos to calm. 

Although it does take some time to build the skills never taught to us.  It is possible.  Simplified habits allow you the space you need to breathe.  You can find a moment to quiet the mind and allow your soul to light up while your spirit speaks.  This moment will give you the chance to be optimistic. 

Your days will transition from struggling to survive and manage the chaos to being wonderfully optimistic and a warrior finding her calm.  It is overall a win-win for you and your kiddos.  The only question is if you feel it is worth the work and the effort.

5. Routines Empower Moms

The labels they place on us to understand our emotions can hinder our ability to live our lives to our fullest potential.  As moms, it is important to understand the symptoms we experience.  This way we can take back control of our lives.  Nonetheless, it’s more important to understand the cause of the issue.  That is something that meds simply cannot do.  And living a life with overwhelming routines can aggravate the issue.

You can choose mom.  Start small.  One simplified habit a day for one month.  Clear up the schedule for only those habits that are purposeful, intentional, and productive.  Remember, without you, nothing functions appropriately.  Make certain you are functioning at your fullest potential.  This way your energy builds momentum and you can radiate positivity. 

If you decide to navigate from chaos to calm, your cognitive function improves because you have room to breathe.  You can be more creative, and your energy state simply flows better.  Remember, you have your physical, mental, soul and spirit, and higher power states that all must be connected.  That formulates your powerhouse that will allow your light from within to shine bright. 

These simplified habits will create a routine that will simply flow.  This is what your kiddos need.  You know it and I know it because I’ve been through it.  Just keep it simple.  You’ll be amazed at the empowerment simplicity creates for moms.

What This Means for You

While having a routine is important, always remember to have grace with yourself.  Take time to tweak and adjust as needed.  Don’t be afraid to deviate away from your original routines from time to time.  Too much of anything is not healthy.  Simplicity is your friend and taking it one step at a time is important. 

Do not keep adding.  Try one thing at a time until you notice that it’s happening on its own.  When you no longer have to focus or think about it, add another simplified habit.  Also, purposeful, intentional, and productive.  Always remember that.  If it is not, perhaps someone else is best suited to complete that task. Discovering the power of routines:  building habits to help moms navigate anxiety and depression is key to empowering your life.

Challenge

Discover one habit that you already have.  Find a way to enhance it so that it is purposeful, intentional, and productive.  Level up that habit and see how that simplified habit helps free up space to breathe.  If you don’t have one, create one.  Remember, if you don’t feel motivated to do it, you will procrastinate.  Perhaps, discovering what motivates you can be your first simplified habit. 

I’m curious to know what you choose.  Feel free to leave a comment below and you never know who you might help along their journey.  Thanks for taking the time to read this post.  If you have any thoughts or opinions, I’d love to know. 

Go out and live life energetically alive and fiercely free.

The Mommy Empowerment Coach