HOW PERSONAL EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE CAN HELP MOMS WITH OVERWHELM

Ever wonder why you feel extremely exhausted, overwhelmed, and questioning how much longer you can keep doing everything?  You may be thinking, “Well that’s motherhood isn’t it”?  The great news is that it is not. There is little something, something that everyone forgot to teach us about and is crucial to everyone’s overall well being.  What is the little something, something and how will it help you?  Keep reading this blog post and you will discover how personal emotional intelligence can help moms with overwhelm.  

Understanding What’s Going On

First and foremost, if you are experiencing exhaustion, overwhelm, and stress there’s nothing to be ashamed about.  You can’t know how to manage stress if you don’t know how to and that creates overwhelm.  Understanding what’s going on is even more of a challenge and can definitely create overwhelm. Tell you what, let’s shed some light on motherhood stress and reduce that overwhelm to create positive change.

Here’s what might be going on without you even realizing it.  You might be running low on your personal emotional intelligence.  What?!  No, I am not questioning how smart you are.  What I am saying is that motherhood is busy and even daunting at times and losing clarity to what’s going on within yourself is too easy.  It happens to so many of us and I know that’s what happened to me for so many years. 

Don’t believe me?  I understand.  I didn’t believe it either.  And this may not apply to you.  If you don’t mind, I’d like to ask you one question to see if you should continue reading or not.  

Would you be able to tell me who you are in 2 minutes or less?  Oh wait.  That’s too vague a question.  Before you provide an answer.  Let’s take this to the next level with a challenge.  Remove any job titles, ages, religious beliefs, familial titles, illnesses, names, or any other labels someone else has placed on you.  Why?  Well, that’s not really who you are as a person.  Those things may be what you do and what you’ve experienced, but it’s not quite who you are as an individual person.  What I want to know is what makes you, you.  

Need some help?  You got it.  Are you honest?  What about loyal?  Perhaps you’re creative.  Or maybe you’re innovative.  Heck, you could even be compassionate.  So now, can you answer the question for me in under 2 minutes?

If you can’t.  It’s perfectly okay.  Why?  Because many of us are so busy caring for others that this is common for many moms. How does this relate to stress and overwhelm?  If you don’t take the time to know, understand, and manage who you are it makes it very difficult to be 100% of true service to others. 

What Is Emotional Intelligence and Why Should I Care?

You may not be feeling me right now.  I’m okay with that.  You’re still reading which means you may have become aware for the first time that clarity is a little blurred at the moment.  Let’s get into the nitty gritty of it all.  What’s personal emotional intelligence really anyways.  Personal emotional intelligence is the ability to recognize and understand emotions within yourself and others.  It is also the ability to manage those emotions effectively.  Now let me ask you, how often have you heard of P.E.I. in schools, from your parents or family, or even in church?  There may have been some lessons provided throughout your lifetime that you didn’t even realize were related to personal emotional intelligence.  However, it’s likely you had no clue what it really was related to.  

What’s all included in personal emotional intelligence?  There are some key components that make up personal emotional intelligence.

• The most crucial component of them all is self-awareness.  This is where motherhood causes some turbulence throughout the journey.  

• Then there’s self-regulation and this one may be a tricky one because this may be an issue that has developed throughout many years or just started with motherhood.

• Internal motivation is another aspect that can get complicated and easily misinterpreted.  This part relates to those goals that you set that are for life fulfillment not immediate gratification or for material rewards.

• As moms, this section may seem like it does not apply and you may question how it’s even possible.  However, remember not every person is the same and you may struggle with this more than you know.  Empathy is the next section.  Being able to see another’s perspective when it does not relate to you is a skill that can be developed and not necessarily natural.

• Last but not least, social skills.  This relates to how effectively you can communicate, understand, build, and manage relationships.  These can be reflective of relationships with your family, children, coworkers and others.  

In motherhood, it is important to keep each of these components balanced in our day-to-day lives.  They are each connected to one another and keep us grounded to the core of who we are.  Most importantly, the type of relationship we maintain with our children will rely heavily on how personally emotionally intelligent we are.  Even more important, our children will rely on us to teach them how to develop these skills in their own lives.  Again, this is not taught in our traditional educational systems so this is just as important as researching healthy foods for our children.  Moreso, I dare to say.

Now that you can see and feel the importance of personal emotional intelligence as a mom let’s learn how personal emotional intelligence can help moms with overwhelm.  

5 Tactics to Help Develop Personal Emotional Intelligence

Here are five tactics to help develop personal emotional intelligence to start today. These tactics will vary amongst each individual mom. Remember you are unique and these are generalized tactics. However, using one or more of these tactics will help with stress and overwhelm either way. Ready?

• Reflective Journaling is a great tool.  When you journal it will allow for you to release any negative thoughts or energy you are experiencing.  It also allows for you to go back at the end of the day, week, or month and reflect on your emotions.  It can serve as a clear indication of when emotions are getting the best of you and the situations that trigger those emotions.  Recognizing the emotions may also be useful.

• Changing the Channel in Your Mind.  We have all binged on a Netflix series or two more than we should have.  That’s okay because you realize that you’ve done that.  Now it’s time to check that situation and realign it to productivity.  It’s the same with our emotions.  When you notice that an emotion is becoming too much, create some balance. Try different things to see what gets you off the emotional rollercoaster ride.   My favs are essential oils, nature walks, changing the script that’s repeating itself in my mind by throwing on some binaural beats (YouTube has many available), cleaning, or sometimes just a breathing technique.  Admittedly, sometimes it may take a little of everything.  Doesn’t matter.

• Prioritize Your Tasks. Assess and analyze the tasks you have to complete throughout the day. Make the time to ask yourself why are you doing each task, what is the importance, and what will you get from it that adds value to your life. It is very important to list only one task that MUST be completed and then list the additional tasks by relevance of the purpose and fulfillment it provides. While you are completing the task, remind yourself of the internal satisfaction you are achieving. Express gratitude when the task has been completed with a break.

• Be fully present for others.  There’s a certain beauty in the word present and it’s duel meanings. When you are present with others it is a priceless gift for all parties involved. To be fully present, you must listen and relate to the other person. Listening does not require an opinion or judgement. Nonetheless, please be open about how you feel and/or how you can relate to the situation.  Trust so that you can create genuine connections.  

• Check the relationships you keep.  Energy is contagious. If you are surrounded by negativity or positivity it will set the tone for that and other relationships. Set healthy boundaries. Respect boundaries.  Listen before you respond and take time if needed before you speak.  Let go of the need to control or be right.  Reflect on situations, even the good ones and learn something new.  Reminder, relationships take work.

The Journey and The Destination

Every mother’s end destination is to raise healthy, well-balanced, successful adults.  All any mother wants is for her children to know they are understood, mom will always be there for them 100%, and help them get past any challenges.  Imagine how easy flowing motherhood would be if every mom instinctively knew how to defuse conflict, improve relationships, form genuine bonds. How dramatically would that reduce life stress and overwhelm for your children and yourself. 

The key to doing that is being the best role model you can be and leading by example.  What does that mean for you?  You must master your emotional intelligence.  How do you do that? The first step is by discovering your current personal emotional intelligence level and then developing each component involved. 

Seem like too much? It is possible. Start one step at a time and The Mommy Empowerment Project is here to guide you. You can master it sooner than you think. The journey will allow you to create those genuine connections with yourself and your children sooner than you think.  The destination is priceless.

Summing It Up

Summing it up, I sincerely hope you find the above five tips useful and can put them into practice immediately.  I’m certain you will find that the five tips included on how personal emotional intelligence can help moms with overwhelm will provide some relief to overwhelm and stress.  Self-awareness, self-regulation, intrinsic motivation, empathy, and social skills are essentials in motherhood.  

It is no secret that the energy you create day in and day out radiates into the lives of your children.  The responsibility is great for mothers around the world.  Without a handbook to guide you through the process, many mothers have to learn on their own.  However, personal emotional intelligence is essential and it is no secret either.  What has been hidden for too long is the extreme value in developing personal emotional intelligence.  It’s time to reveal this great skill and begin mastering it as mothers.  The fulfillment of how positively impactful this will be around the world is W.O.W.

Final Embrace

As a final embrace, I would like to extend an offer of guidance through the process. If you should need it or prefer a jump start in developing your PEI.  Please let me know.

I work through an exclusive personal emotional intelligence assessment with my 1:1 clients and establish clarity on their specific principal components that need to be developed.  We work together to design a solution framed around that helps achieve more refined results in developing personal emotional intelligence.  If that sounds like something that may be of interest, please feel free to reach out and we can put you on my schedule.  Afterall, there’s no time like the present time.  

Thanks for this moment of your time.  You are appreciated.  Please feel free to comment below if you have any questions or simply let me know what was your favorite part of the post.