The Most Important Lessons I Learned About Anxiety and Depression

I always told myself that what I was feeling would pass.  Every mother at some point and time in their life experiences exhaustion, overwhelm, guilt and fear.  All I had to do was create a stronger mindset and see a different perspective and I would be okay.  However, no matter how hard I tried I was not okay.  According to the statistics on depression and anxiety in women in the U.S. alone, I am not alone.  That is why I decided to share the most important lessons I learned about anxiety and depression.  

Lost in the Chaos

Busy days working and taking care of the kiddos while managing a terrible relationship created a whirlwind of emotions every day.  There were so many days that I cried in the shower.  Whenever I shared what I felt with my parents I was told it would pass or others have it worse.  I tried to manage the best that I could with what I had at the moment.  Somehow, it didn’t seem like it was enough.  I was losing control.

I worked intense hours and was barely home.  I felt this was the best thing for my kiddos because all I did was fight with my significant other and it would become physically abusive.  At work, I could smile without being asked why I was smiling.  And it felt good to be able to provide for my family.  What I didn’t realize is that I was leaving my kiddos without the love they needed from their mother and the gentleness that only a mother provides.  Essentially, I was abandoning them.

Why?  How can a mother do this?

The important lesson that I learned, several years later, was that I was experiencing depression and anxiety and work was my escape.  How could work be an escape?  Work required very basic knowledge and very little genuine emotion.  I did not have to face the fact that my life was turning to nothing.  And my entire family was okay with me working as a reason why I had no more energy left to give all of the love and attention to my kiddos that they deserved.  

The Thief

Depression and anxiety were stealing my energy, confidence, clarity, and identity.  They were also robbing my children of the bold, beautiful, and brilliant mom they deserved.

It is a strange thing how the world would gladly accept exhaustion, overwhelm, fear, and guilt as a result of being a working mom.  However, explaining that a mom needs help and time alone or that the relationship is draining her, or that something exists deeper within that needs to be resolved was not.  Wrapping my mind around this was very difficult.  Still, if I knew that this was going on there had to be a way to resolve it.  

So, I did what everyone said should be done.  First, I went to the doctor.  It was insanely easy to get medication.  The medication did not work.  In fact, I felt worse.  Then I went to a therapist.  There I talked and it seemed to be this repetitive loop of questions that left me feeling worse than when I first came in.  Was I a hopeless case?  

I decided not to continue either of them for the lack of working, time, and finances.  Oddly enough, I felt better.  However, it was temporary.  

The most important lesson I learned from depression and anxiety was that the issue existed at a deeper level than only the mind.  I also learned that making a decision for my health and well-being made me feel genuinely confident.

When All Else Fails

What would be my next step?  There will be no more therapists and no more doctors.  Anxiety and depression are mental illnesses according to doctors and books.  And even though I feel that this exists deeper, the answer must start here.  I also knew that making decisions was great for me.  So, I evaluated all the chaos in my life and begin clearing out the junk.  I began with eliminating the abusive relationship.  Check.  Started college and achieved my degree.  Check.  Advanced in my career.  Check.  Exercised and lost a ton of weight.  Check.  Kids are healthy and taken care of.  Check.  New healthy relationship.  Check.  Awesome, right?

Yes, it was for a while.  Until the breakdown happened and the walls came crashing in.  There it was as clear as day.  My first suicide attempt.  Two bottles of wine and a bottle of hydro codeine.  All taken while crying alone in my bathtub feeling like no matter what I change and what I achieved that feeling of overwhelm, exhaustion, guilt, and loneliness would always be there.

I became very tired and before I fell asleep I managed to call my sister who came to help me and rush me to the emergency room.  My kids and my husband were all in the next room without a clue as to what was going on.  I remember the emergency room visit like it was 5 minutes ago.  The doctor comes in, I explain what happens, and he says.  “You have six kids.  No wonder why you’re overwhelmed.”  What?

I remember yelling and telling him that my depression and anxiety were not because of my children.  It was because of life.  Life just needed to give me a chance to breathe.  I had been experiencing traumas since childhood and this man just wanted to come in after a few minutes of speaking to my sister and blame it on my kids.  He was just another person proving that no one was listening and no one cared.  Everyone wanted to assume they knew what was going on.

The most important lesson I learned about anxiety and depression that day was that all I needed was to get to the core of the issue and understand it.  I was tired of the assumptions and the stereotypes and the reasons and the excuses.

Alone and Misunderstood

Being admitted into an insane asylum, oh wait that’s not the appropriate term, the mental institution, I realized so many things.  Psychologists run you like you are on a factory line.  You get in, they listen to what you have to say, write a few things and send you off until they are back in to visit you again.  You are pumped up with medications and watched to make sure you eat and take your meds and don’t cause any issues.  Activity participation is required as well.  A lot of the stories shared are intense and it did make me feel like there was no merit for my depression and anxiety.  

What I also realized was that I was not being my genuine self when sharing my story because of that emotion.  The very same emotion that my family conditioned me to believe.  Even in the mental facility, others there were telling me that I had no reason to be depressed or have anxiety because I had a good career, I had a home in a nice suburb, my kids were all healthy, my fiance worked and had a good job, and was kind.  Dismissed again.

My fiance and my mother fought to get me out of the mental institution right away.  Despite everyone there telling me I would not get out so fast.  I did.  It was a relief.  It made me feel loved when they got me out so quickly.  However, I learned something very valuable from all of that.

The most important lesson I learned about depression and anxiety was that it hid my true identity and stored in a dark place.  A place where I was not allowed to feel or appreciate or recognize anything.  A place that reminded me that I was all alone, never to be understood.  

Maybe It’s Not All in My Head

The importance for me to transition from this state of anxiety and depression grew with an intense priority within me.  Did I have valid reasons for being in this state?  Yes.  Is it something that affected my mind?  Yes.  In my case, was it something that could be treated with medications and traditional therapy? No.  The reason these things did not work for me was not because there was something wrong with me.  It was because there was a huge flaw in the method by which anxiety and depression are addressed.

Humans exist on many levels.  You have your body, mind, and soul.  Or at least that’s what many consider the main three levels are.  I challenge that there are additional levels.  You also have your spirit; your energetic connection to a higher power.  Also, your mind has the conscious and subconscious or your emotional and logical sides.  Now, if our existence is multidimensional would it not make sense that the solution to overcoming anxiety and depression should also be one that heals at a multidimensional level as well?

Let me ask you.  If this could be true.  Then that means that the medications and the therapy are only addressing symptoms of certain areas of your existence but not helping you overcome.  It helps manage.  Managing is great!  Surviving is good.  But what if you could be a warrior that overcomes the battle instead of struggling to survive every day?  That’s what I wanted, needed to do because I am a mother and my kids deserved the energetic me that laughed, that played, that made things happen in life, that protected and that loved unconditionally.

After many years and several ups and downs, the most important lesson that I learned about anxiety and depression is that I could overcome them naturally and resolve the issue beginning at a core level.  The process was complicated and took a long time to go through so I had to simplify the process and make it more efficient.  I understand that with anxiety and depression energy is limited especially as a mom.  The great news is that I was able to create a simplified, step-by-step blueprint and 12 week online program that helps empowers moms to have resilient energy, fearless confidence, and flawless optimism to become energetically alive and fiercely free from anxiety and depression.  Imagine empowering your W.O.W. (Wonderfully Optimistic Warrior) by connecting your feminine fighter soul with your divine warrior spirit.  It’s an amazing experience.  And if I could do it, you can too!

Something that Works

Surviving life with anxiety and depression as a mom is no easy task. Always focusing on others and feeling guilty needing more is a daily battle. Yes, you know self-love and all of the above. But what happens when none of those things work. The question of “am I really that messed up” constantly goes through your mind. Moms face the most intense battles because we are the lifelines in our families. Attack and defeat us and everyone in the household is likely to fall as well. The most important lesson I learned about anxiety and depression is that it is crucial for moms to overcome.

Society addresses part of the issue and doctors know how to treat part of the problem. However, the rising numbers of anxiety and depression and the decreasing age range makes it tough to keep up. Unless you experience this life threatening duo it’s hard to understand that this issue exists in more than just your mind. If you doubt this, just look at the mentally tough people that have struggled and still struggle with this.

The answer has to work on levels of your existence beginning at the foundation of who you are. It’s time to embrace the you now and emerge from the darkness. It is time to make remarkable connections and evolve and empower your W.O.W. The 6 week beta program has a short time period before its release.  You can get more info sent to your email.  Just message me here with the subject line W.O.W.  

If you fully agree or partially agree or even don’t agree at all.  I would love to know.  Please feel free to comment below.  Remember, be beautiful, brilliant and bold.