Mom, Are You Experiencing Depression and Anxiety? This Message Is For You…
I never imagined that I would feel so defeated, overwhelmed, exhausted, and ashamed about being the one thing that mattered the most to me; being a mom. The fake smiles and daily routines became my alter ego that took over my life. The fact was that my daily struggle to survive my depression and anxiety affected my children to a massive degree. If you’re a mom that suffers from depression and anxiety this message is for you!
EXPOSED: The Raw Effects of Motherhood
Many of you may be placing judgment on my opening sentence. I appreciate it because for so long I placed judgment on myself. Self-criticism is what kept me functioning and struggling to survive every day through my depression and anxiety. It also went sent me into a downward spiral into an abyss of nothingness.
The world of motherhood introduces you to so many changes all at once. You have the physical change. Your hormones are all over the place. The body you once knew is like a total stranger. The exhaustion is insane and realizing that this is going to last longer than what you feel is sustainable becomes overwhelming. You don’t even recognize yourself anymore.
Now let’s chat a bit about the emotional changes. You created a tiny, precious human being. Your child is adorable and all you care about. The physical changes are WOW but bearable. The love a mother has for her child is incomparable. Yet, the physical exhaustion spreads like wildfire emotionally burning you out and feeling defeated. How can you love someone so much and desire to be away from them at the same time?
Mentally I was exhausted and felt ashamed of my feelings. I can’t tell you how many times I cried in the shower, closet, and while everyone slept. Depression was at an all-time high and anxiety made me feel like there was no way out. And this was just the beginning because as my little ones got older the demand was less but the challenges were more difficult to face.
Still, my alter ego did an amazing job of fulfilling my obligations.
The Alter Ego
Every emotion I experienced was kept hidden. After all, they are just feelings. No one understood what I felt. The one time I did express what I felt I was told to get over it and do what I had to do until that stage passed. It almost felt as if they all thought I was expressing how I felt so someone could feel sympathy for me. I was simply seeking answers to make it all stop so I can feel like myself again. At that very moment, my alter ego was created.
Every day I went to work and financially supported my family. I managed through an abusive relationship the best I could although I knew it was terrible because “it was a stage that would pass”. The children went to school, did their homework, played with their friends, and had all of their needs met. However, emotionally I was unplugged. There was no energy left to give more than that.
Don’t get it twisted, however. Even though the alter ego took place of my emotional space. There were happy moments and proud moments that I experienced with my children. I wished all moments were like those so much that I went to therapy. I was prescribed medication and that was the true meaning of nothingness. The medication allowed me to accomplish so much throughout my day. However, I felt nothing. Not one moment of happiness, sadness, guilt, or joy, nada. And that was terrible.
That became my lab rat moment. When I explained my reaction to the medicine to the therapist dosages changed, medications changed, and the rollercoaster ride was one I will never try again. The alter ego did a way better job of protecting me. I chose the alter ego again. Everyone loved the fake smiles and the person that never complained and just did what she needed to do. The alter ego benefited everyone. What a lie!
The Aftermath of the Daily Struggle to Survive
When you experience depression and anxiety every day is a struggle to survive. Adding on the raw effects of motherhood kicks all of this into overdrive. The confusion of not understanding what is going on within you is soul-crushing. The worst outcome of it all was the aftermath of the daily struggle to survive.
The aftermath of my daily struggle to survive depression and anxiety was not one that I expected. All of the fake smiles, handling my responsibilities, and ignoring what I felt to give to others, were entirely pointless. Discovering that you hurt and disappointed your children because you were not emotionally available to them is perhaps the hardest slap in the face a mom can receive.
As for myself, I had promised myself to provide a better life for my children than I had. What a disappointment to find out that I had not. I did my best with what I had at that particular moment and I wish I could say that’s all I could do but that would be another lie. The alter ego was the easy choice. It was not the best choice for me. If it’s not the best choice for me then it definitely was not the best choice for my children either.
The Best Choice for Your Children is YOU
Alter egos, fake smiles, fitting in, or searching for perfection is not you. Your children deserve what is best for you so that you can be the best you for them. Depression and anxiety are very real battles. Surviving these battles is amazing and may seem like your only choice. It is not! The best choice for your children is you! If you could see me now I am screaming it at the top of my lungs-they want you, babe!!
Check it out. Maybe there’s some deeper stuff going on inside you that you’re struggling with. Past mistakes, bad choices, hurt, and maybe even some current consequences you’re managing. I don’t care about those things. Do you want to know what I care about?
I care about the right here, right now. I care about you, but I care more about your kiddos. Please let me share some real facts with you and why all moms are so important to me and why sharing what I went through and how I learned to overcome depression and anxiety is crucial for the future success of the world.
There are 12 million women who experience clinical depression in the U.S. alone according to Mental Health America. Now let’s talk anxiety. Single Care has shared that 179 million women in the U.S. experience anxiety. These numbers are off the charts. And as if those numbers couldn’t be shocking enough let’s not forget the impact COVID has had on the world. With COVID, depression and anxiety rates have increased by 25% as of March 2022 according to WHO.
I apologize for having to share those statistics with you. But seeing is believing. You are not alone and I know you know this. I don’t say that to undermine you. I share this because depression and anxiety seem to be as contagious as COVID. The most contaminated by depression and anxiety are the children of these women. My children and your children. Several studies show that parental depression and anxiety affect children severely as can be seen by a study by NIH.
This is why the best choice for your children is you.
The Answer You’ve Been Looking For
Ready for some good news?
Yes, medications and therapy do work for some when managing depression and anxiety. However, for me it did not and I had to find an alternative. I am complex, beautiful, bold and brilliant. What I needed was something more. A deeper connection. I passionately believe that I am not the only one that has had the same experience. Why?
First, because there are so many moms out there that do not understand what is going on. With busy, chaotic lives and so many changes it becomes easy to lose sight of who you are in this moment. It also becomes easy to lose focus on the fact that you are the most important member in your family. You matter and what you are experiencing matter more. When you don’t know what to do or even what the core problem is, it is easy to do what others are doing or what someone else influences you to believe is right. Nonetheless, there is an answer.
It begins with you claiming your power of choice. The choice is yours to take. Live a life in alignment with what you truly desire and achieving your purpose. You can decide invest your time into genuinely knowing yourself at this point and time in your life. You accept the opportunity to embrace, emerge, evolve, and empower the powerful connection you have within.
Because we all know that humans exist at a multidimensional level. So, what if depression and anxiety also exist on a multidimensional level? What if that is why it’s simply being managed and not cured?
The time has come to overcome. It is time for all moms to be energetically alive and fiercely free from depression and anxiety and authentically live life creating limitless opportunities for her family.
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Sidenote
Remember: You are brilliant, beautiful and bold. Welcome to the world of W.O.W. Moms!! Doing more than surviving, being energetically alive and fiercely free!
