Want to Overcome Depression and Anxiety? You Can Start Now.
Depression and anxiety are what I call “the deadly duo” of living. My entire life had been riddled with this deadly duo, even before I could understand what they were. When I became a mom I promised myself that I would do anything and everything to protect my kiddos. Little did I know that I would break this promise. After many years of trial and error, I will be sharing an overview of my journey to overcoming depression and anxiety naturally. So that if you want to overcome depression and anxiety like I did. You Can Start Now.
What Are the Consequences of Depression and Anxiety?
There are many consequences of depression and anxiety. The most common consequence is the physical impact it will have on you. The physical tolls range from minor to severe. The next most common consequence of the deadly duo is the social impact it has. The lack of desire or increased fear of being in a social atmosphere. This can even impair your ability to work. The next is the loss of emotional control. Imagine never being able to control your reactions in situations. It’s so easy to see why I consider depression and anxiety the deadly duo. Then there’s the most feared consequence; suicide.
Why is Overcoming Depression and Anxiety so Important?
As a mom, overcoming depression and anxiety is crucial. Why? The age range of those being affected by depression and anxiety is decreasing. The number of those affected, even disabled, by depression and anxiety is increasing. How can this be?
Moms are the key to the world’s future success. As a mom, you teach your children many things. Even more important, all of life’s tools to overcome challenges and battles in this life are provided to your kiddos by how you handle them, and how they see you manage. And if you are a mom struggling with depression and anxiety you know how difficult this is.
Please, don’t get me wrong. I am in no way, shape or form, judging what you do. But let me ask you this… have you ever thought, felt, or believed…
There has to be a better way! Something’s gotta give.
Maybe the medication and the therapy just aren’t working for you. Just maybe all of the motivational videos and getting stuff done aren’t getting rid of that ickiness you have going on within. Perhaps, all the praying and meditation and gratefulness are only good for a moment. That sense of nothing works. That thought of “I’m just broken and beyond hope.” The lie of “I’m not good enough and mentally weak”. ALL LIES!!
Raw Life Example of Depression and Anxiety
If anyone tells you that they had a perfectly unscathed childhood, question their self-awareness. It is rare the person that can go through childhood without one or both of their parents creating some negative perception on them. In my case, there were so many hurts and losses experienced that a decision was made that I could and would be polar opposites to who they were, especially as a parent.
I grew up being a perfectionist. Everything had to be perfect and if it wasn’t then it had to be fixed. Reality would quickly set in as I began my journey into adulthood as a teen. I learned very quickly that I am a flawed human being and depression began to creep in. However, my stubbornness to defy the odds quickly took over. Nonetheless, the reality of imperfection lingered at my core.
Very quickly I would experience the unimaginable. I would experience a letdown of every goal I had set in my life. A deep, fond relationship with disappointment would develop and last what would seem like an eternity.
Before I knew it I would end up in an abusive relationship with children from two different fathers in my 20s. I would also experience tragic loss; the murder of my little brother. The disconnection to coping would destroy who I was. The deadly duo had formally introduced itself. And just like the abusive relationship I was in, I could not find a way to let go of the newfound relationship. This is where I broke the most precious promise to myself for the first time; I will do anything and everything never to hurt my kiddos.
The Truth Behind Staying Strong
My family is structured behind so many WOW stories it’s insane. My mom had always impressed upon me that if something bad or good happened in life, you put yourself there. Somewhere you made a decision that provided those life results. So, it was your responsibility to change the outcome. I still believe this to an extent. It likely fuels my defiant soul with the energy to defy the odds.
However, when you are struggling with depression and anxiety this is a delicate truth. But why? The truth behind staying strong while struggling with depression and anxiety is avoidance. Because if you address depression and anxiety then you are weak and do not “get yourself out” of your situation. And as a mom, you have others to worry about so you better get to doing and less crying and feeling “sorry” for yourself. After all, depression and anxiety are mental illnesses and if you are “strong” you can overcome them.
All false statements. It also provides this false sense of control. Although we do have some control over our lives in certain situations, we do not control life in its entirety. Murder and death are some examples of how little control we are really in. The truth behind being strong is that it doesn’t work when wanting to overcome depression and anxiety.
I stayed strong for a very long time. Handling my responsibilities became my priority and I never addressed how I felt or what I had experienced. The spiral into a deep, dark hole of just doing became a way of life for me. The abuse reached an all-time high, and disconnection from all family and even being a mom was how I managed. I became a workaholic to avoid my depression and anxiety.
Working and providing for my kiddos was good enough. I was a good mom by doing this and I talked to them. And when the abuse at home was too much I took them to their father’s house to protect them. It was the best I could do. I was being strong and not breaking down. This lasted for years, twelve to be exact.
The Breaking Point
There is a breaking point in every chaotic situation. Mine came when I realized how successful I was at work but my kiddos were miserable. I now had six kiddos. My sons were becoming teens and I now had two young daughters. The desire to stay with someone simply so my children had their father around had disappeared. The abuse was too much. I was done.
It took many other people to show me how powerful I was and how successful I could be to gain the confidence to make change happen. That and the fact that I spent a night in jail and had six months of anger management because I finally defended myself against my abuser brought me to the breaking point I needed. Nonetheless, breaking points quickly became my new style.
A plan was made to get out of the abusive relationship and I left him for the 20th but last time. I wrote down all of my prior goals that I had given up on and I achieved them all. The energy that surged within me was beautiful. My entire appearance changed and the people I attracted were brilliant. I had overcome depression and anxiety! Not at all.
The MakeOver Failure
The complete makeover inspired hope. Yes, it did this. It made me forget depression and anxiety for a while. The one thing you can count on in life is that it will hand you a 1-2 combo that will knock you on your toosh reminding you of your weakness and this would come quicker than expected.
A truth was revealed that crushed my soul. During the time that I had zoned out, I was not the only one being abused, my children were also. To be entirely honest, I had a sense of the possibility and questioned the kiddos but they denied it. And because I was in “avoidance” I accepted the answer.
The strangest thing happened. The years of work and accomplishments all went down the sewer. I had not even realized that achieving all of my goals had allowed the perfectionist to say hello again. This new information, of what a “terrible” mom I was, sent me back into depression and anxiety.
I gained weight, I quit my job, I destroyed relationships, I lost my home and my car, and I allowed every mistake I made as a mom to be thrown in my face and be destroyed by it. Searching and dwelling in all of my imperfections became a drug to remind myself that I was a massive failure. The makeover was a failure against depression and anxiety. The makeover sparked an era of self-destruction.
Ending It All
Keeping busy was the name of the game to life. I started working again and I worked diligently. I made money and ended up being the main breadwinner in the family. Mom duties stayed the same. Cooking, cleaning, and running kiddos to school and events. My relationship was really strained and the feeling of being all alone and misunderstood was intense. Overwhelm set in with every breath. But I was managing to fulfill all of my obligations.
Little was I aware that I was one fragile flick from a total break. And with a household of teenage sons, it happened. The reminder that everything I was doing and all that I had worked for since I was 18 years old was for nothing. I had brought children into this world to make them suffer living a terrible life.
I remember that day like it was yesterday. My sons were thrown out of the home and I locked myself in the bathroom to cry. The tub slowly filled with warm water while I walked out for a quick moment to grab a bottle of wine. I made sure no one could get into the bathroom and opened the medicine cabinet. It was alarming how many medications I had that were full bottles. I began to take every pain medication bottle out and sat in the tub. I poured one glass of wine and laid back and relaxed in my pity.
There was this tiny whisper telling me I could get through this but I numbed it quietly with one pill. I replayed every word that came from their mouths and take one pill after another and swallowed down each with another glass of wine. The fact that no one even knocked on the door not even my significant other confirmed that I should keep going.
I sat there until the water was cold. My lungs were still breathing. The decision to end it all in my sleep seemed romantic enough. Making it out of the bathroom and into the bed was harder than I expected and fear began to set in. The reality is that I would be leaving my children alone because whether they knew it or not that’s what they would be created anxiety but I could barely move. There was only one call I could make and it was the best call I ever made. My sister came over immediately after I called her to tell her I love her and hung up.
The Journey of Depression and Anxiety as a Mental Illness
Up until this point, I never officially knew that I suffered from depression and anxiety. While in the hospital the doctor explained that he was not surprised I had a breakdown seeing that I had seven children. Defensive mom automatically kicked in. Then he diagnosed me with bipolar disorder and they sent me for a three-day psych hold. After evaluation, it was determined I had depression and anxiety.
A small list of medications and therapy was sent with me so I could go back to work. My mom and significant other made sure I got out at the three-day mark. And surely, the next day I went to work and life was functional.
There was no emotion whether good or bad while on medication and going to therapy. Talking was talking and it never really led to any breakthroughs. There was a sense of relief knowing what was wrong with me and I was grateful for the medications and the therapy. Still, I had this sense that I was still lost. That I wasn’t really me.
Of course, when I told my therapist this my medications were adjusted and changed over and over. Therapy sessions increased. And quickly, I quit. There was a faint whisper that confirmed what I knew in my soul. There had to be a better way and feeling chaos was better than feeling nothing at all, especially as a mom.
The Journey to Discovery
There were still a lot of triggers surrounding me. My company offered me a better position to relocate to Arizona and they would pay travel expenses. After careful consideration, I made the choice to move out of state. Two of my children were older and decided to stay and live with family. Then, one of my older sons but still a minor decided he would stay as well. My heart was broken. However, if they were older now and could decide their own choices meant more than mom’s sanity then I had to make a choice for myself.
The pain in my soul to be without my three oldest sons for the first time ever was soul-crushing. Everyone in my family criticized me for it and I likely was called many names that to this day I don’t care to know about. Work was great and the new state was beautiful and my house was amazing. I was able to buy a new car and the four younger ones with my husband began to live life. It was a new chapter that started boldly and I didn’t need the medications or therapy to feel good.
Challenges and battles always came. Yet I managed through them and thought that I had accomplished what I needed to overcome depression and anxiety. And again, I would discover that I was wrong.
My significant other had become my husband and when challenges and battles came he would shut down. I would be alone to resolve all of my emotions and create my own balance. He could not wrap his mind around what I was going through. It left me feeling hopeless and exhausted and alone. Your spouse is meant to be your rock, your best friend and I did not have that.
There was so much pressure placed on him that our marriage eventually lost all of its validity. I hit rock bottom again. Although, I did not end up in the psych hospital ever again. I could have easily. Instead, I decided I would begin the journey to discovery. Why?
Because if meds and therapy helped a little but were not enough and if being accomplished in life was not enough and if changing your environment was not enough then there had to be something out there. Something had to overcome depression and anxiety and I was not going to quit on myself. Remember, I have a defiant soul determined to defy the odds.
The Success of The Journey
After many years of research and self-application and trying many different methods and even combinations of methods, the solution has been discovered. The success of the journey has arrived. It is official, I have overcome depression and anxiety. To be very transparent, I have waited way too long to share the process. Since its discovery, I have lost an uncle and a cousin to suicide.
The fear that perhaps this process still has flaws (the perfectionist within) has held back the process from being revealed. However, due to the clear urgency, I am now sharing it. And I know you may be wondering well how do you know that this time it’s for real?
There is a confidence within me that knows no boundaries and I’m still imperfect. Even when my body is physically tired, there is a resilient energy that lights me up. And opportunity is knocking at every door because I have brilliant optimism that guides the way. It all started by make a powerful connection that I had lost a long time ago. A connection to my W.O.W. Mom. What is W.O.W. Mom? It is a Wonderfully Optimistic Warrior Mom. And I know you have her within you too!
Summing It All Up
Here’s the truth about the deadly duo. It is deadly. Everything you do is affected by it. And as much as you try to hide it or be strong, no matter what you change unless it is done beginning at the core of who you are then you will constantly be falling into a deep dark hole feeling desperate, misunderstood and alone. You will be on an eternal journey of climbing back out of the hole and being exhausted and overwhelmed.
It is a damn miracle how life has changed for me. But it is possible and it is possible to achieve overcoming depression and anxiety naturally. There is hope and you are no different than me. You just need to know the way. I got you. Don’t lose years of your life trying to figure it out on your own. Being bold here, your kiddos don’t have to go through years of living with a mom that’s suffering and surviving. Not when there’s another way and that’s summing it all up. I’ve been there and done that and it’s time for a movement.
If you want to overcome depression and anxiety naturally, I personally invite you and would be honored if you joined me. If you don’t believe me, I dare you to prove me wrong. What do you have to lose? Start now.
Want to Know More About Becoming a W.O.W. Mom?
Sign up for the newsletter so you can stay in the “in” and get The Mommy Empowerment Project’s latest blog posts. Soon videos will be accompanying the blogs for those of you that prefer vids! Can’t wait to hang with you again.
