Emotional Triggers Are The Start

Did you know that your emotional triggers are set off automatically by the fast part of your brain?  Yes, we have a slow and fast part of thinking in our brains according to Daniel Kahneman (author of Thinking, Fast and Slow).  I could never understand why certain actions from specific people would trigger my depression and anxiety.  It was not until I read this fantastic book that I could understand why many people consider depression and anxiety as mental illnesses alone.  You see, even though I was aware of my emotional triggers I could not overcome being thrown into a state of depression and anxiety.  I knew there had to be more to this fast and slow part of the brain.  What did happen by being aware of my fast and slow thinking is that I opened the door to the opportunity to understand more about emotional triggers.  

Fast and Slow Parts of Brain

Have you ever noticed that you can easily multi-task?  It’s almost a qualification that every mom must possess, right.  The reason why you can do this and your skills get better with time is because what you are doing does not require too much of your attention.  Your brain basically goes on auto pilot.  However, for those that experience depression and anxiety, you understand that it all it takes is for one emotional trigger to happen and the rest of the day is chaos.  

Why does this happen?  This happens because your emotional trigger has filled your emotional capacity to handle the situation and creates a mental breakdown.  When your mind feels overwhelmed, your heart begins to race, you begin to cry and you immediately go into physical shut down.  So, how is it possible that you can cook, clean, and talk to the kiddos while thinking about what you have to do next just fine and BAM, one thing throw you into overdrive?  Great question!

Throughout the years, you have developed the capacity to know 1+1=2.  There’s no debate about it.  It’s now an automatic response.  Now, if I tell you that 25×24=600, you have to think about it a bit.  Everything stops to process it and multitasking ends.  I theorize that this is the same with your emotional triggers.  Throughout life you have learned that certain actions from people equal a certain result.  So, whenever that action/word occurs you have an immediate reaction to it because your brain makes an assumption to the result.  

I will share a short story to give you some clarity.  I have been part of more than one not-so-great relationships that involved being cheated on.  While trying to find an understanding why this happened to me I found similiarities in their behaviors.  One thing being that they would disappear and request privacy while talking on the phone.  Therefore, I assumed that whenever a man leaves the room and requests privacy to talk on the phone, it was to have inappropriate conversations with another person.  Yeah, I know – insane or logical?  Debatable at the time for me.  

With time and new relationships, I figured out that those actions do not always result in those type of conversations.  Nonetheless, it would trigger my depression and anxiety.  Why?  Because now, I was working hard to retrain my brain to accept this new information and perhaps something else.

Fighting Against Yourself

My brain kept rejecting the fact that this person could actually be simply needing a quiet, focused room to have a conversation.  What was wrong with me?  The real answer, nothing was wrong with me.  My brain had established factual information from past experiences.  The new information was unique and a one off.  There was not enough history for my brain to accept this as a normal behavior.  My brain was doing its job and trying to protect me from being hurt.  

You see, every time you experience intense pain without understanding or fully healing from it, there is an imprint left in your soul.  It lives at the core of who you are and it is felt in your heart, mind and body.  Your mind literally made a mental note of it and will try to save you from ever experiencing that again.

So, when you are trying to retrain your mind to new information, you are basically fighting against yourself.  This creates frustration, overwhelm, fear, insecurity and hello depression and anxiety.  But what if there is a better way?  What if instead of fighting against yourself you could embrace yourself?  Embrace what you know and all of your experiences and also embrace new knowledge and experiences?

Embrace Your Emotional Triggers

Why would you fight your emotional triggers when they are designed to protect you?  Essentially you are fighting yourself and telling yourself you are wrong.  Instead could you embrace your emotional triggers and maybe question it a little.

When I was kid I watched Nightmare on Elm Street and it terrified me.  How the heck do you overcome the fear from a movie where the character gets you in your sleep?  In order to overcome the fear, I would disprove facts from the movie.  

• I did not live in a neighborhood with big houses
• My house did not have a red door
• I was not an only child
• My parents didn’t have neighbor friends that they hung out with
• The janitor at the school was the same one from years ago

And bam, I was fast asleep.  I tried this with getting my brain to accept new information and avoid assumptions during an emotional trigger.  Guess what.  It worked.  Instead of telling myself I was wrong for feeling what I did and assuming the worst I embraced the fact that my mind was trying to rescue me from being hurt again.  I asked myself:

• Because this has happened in the past could it happen again?  Yes.
• Because this has happened in the past could it be different?  Yes.
• Why could it be different?  Because this is a different person.
• Does this person treat me differently than the others that cheated?  Yes.
• Is it likely that he needs to make a phone call in quiet and alone?  Yes.
• Does he normally tell you what the conversations are about?  Yes.
• Is this really about him or about you?  Me
• Are you a better person after this?  Yes.
• Better people will get respect and love and trust? Yes.
• Is he a better person than your last person?  Yes.
• Does he deserve respect and love and trust?  Yes.

And bam, my brain accepted the new information and I could breathe again.  There was no awkward feeling after the phone conversation and no arguing.  I felt so proud of myself and healing began within me.  I noticed the strangest thing ever during that experience.  The questions were not coming from my mind or my heart.  Those questions were coming from somewhere, something else.

The Emergence of A Powerful Source

This was the first time I discovered that there was another part of me that existed.  You always hear of the mind, body and soul.  The spirit is interchanged often with soul.  However, the soul and the spirit are two different existences.  I discovered that during this project.  It was the most brilliant discovery I have ever made.  I call it the emergence of a powerful source.

Emotional triggers come from the mind and soul as mentioned earlier.  When there is hurt that exists in the soul, the mind records it and attempts to protect you from the same painful experience.  That experience becomes part of who you are.  When you are emotionally triggered you have physical reactions that trigger your depression and anxiety.  However, during one of those triggered moments, have you ever asked yourself, “Why am I letting this happen to me?  I don’t want to feel this?”  And when you can’t answer that, you end up in a downward spiral?  Where do those questions come from?

Here is the answer.  There is a higher, powerful source of energy out there.  You can call it whatever you want.  I know it’s referenced as many names; God, the Universe, Allah, gods of nature, etc.  Nonetheless, there is a higher power.  And how does that higher power communicate with us?  Is it possible that it communicates with us by spirit?  What if that voice that questions us during our depression and anxiety is the higher power questioning us to calm us and bring peace?  It could be there to question our emotional triggers and create acceptance to a different, new way of thinking?  What do you think?

From my experience, this is exactly what happens.  However, many of us spend our lives rejecting the questioning of our emotional triggers.  Depression and anxiety have become such a normal part of every day life that it has been accepted.  And when these questions arrive, we disconnect the voice of reason.  Because we know ourselves better than anyone else and you are perfectly okay to feel the way you do.

Now you may be thinking, “But Luz, you literally just said not to fight myself and embrace myself”.  Yes, I did.  I also said, to embrace and then question yourself and accept a new belief, a new possibility.  It is a very fine line when you live with depression and anxiety with everything you do.  First you must embrace yourself and then be able to expand your perceptions and possibilities.  Never, ever limit yourself.  When you limit yourself, you disconnect from the spirit and the one thing that is definite – you need the connection to a higher powerful source.  You must allow it to emerge into your life.  This is the only way you can expand into the opportunity to overcome your emotional triggers.  A very important step in overcoming depression and anxiety naturally. 

Evolving From Struggling to Survive to W.O.W.

When you allow the opportunity for the spirit to connect with you within your soul something magnificent happens.  Having an awareness of your emotional triggers, embracing them, questioning them so that you can expand emotionally and connecting with the powerful source will allow you to evolve into your empowerment.  Empowering the possibility to overcome depression and anxiety naturally will connect you to the Wonderfully Optimistic Warrior within you.  The days of struggling to survive depression and anxiety will fade away.  You will feel and be you again at a higher level than ever before.

Everything serves a purpose.  From the most tragic and most powerful experiences we have had all lead us to a deeper level of life.  Your perception of each experience can either make you or break you.  That is where your emotional triggers stem from.  Please never underestimate or dismiss them.  Simply create an opportunity to see them.  Genuinely see yourself.

You are a mother, you have experienced one of the most beautiful and intense changes anyone can experience at every level of your existence.  Surviving that and giving more to another than yourself proves you are strong enough to do this.  Overcoming depression and anxiety naturally by recognizing your emotional triggers, embracing and questioning them, allowing the emergence of a powerful source to guide you and expanding will allow you to evolve into W.O.W.!

Until Next Time

Please comment below what your thoughts are and if perhaps you have already tried this.  I would love to know what your thinking and feeling.  Can’t wait to say hi next time.