Simply Surviving:  10 Things I Wish I Would Have Known Earlier

Introduction

Yes, I was diagnosed with the deadly duo, of anxiety and depression.  For a very long time, I felt that I was doomed with this mental illness.  I went through life feeling like all that was left for me was to keep simply surviving through these terrible emotional rollercoasters.  Medication and therapy were only temporary reliefs.  This deadly duo was keeping me from enjoying life as a mom.  And then it was suddenly all turned around!  In this blog post, I will be sharing, simply surviving:  10 things I wish I would have known earlier.      

Knowing That There’s More Than Simply Surviving

There is no cure for anxiety and depression.  There are millions of people around the world simply surviving through the many challenges life brings with these illnesses.  The answer provided for so many is to manage the symptoms of anxiety and depression.  And the expectation is that you will simply survive life and not quit.  

As a mom, it’s a great accomplishment to survive.  And I will never take that away from anyone.  You manage and cope how you need to!  I know and understand how hard it is.  One deep breath at a time is how I lived for a very long time.  However, what if there’s more?  What if there’s a better way?  Would it make a difference knowing that there’s more than simply surviving?  Could there be a way to overcome anxiety and depression and enjoy living life with your kiddos?

For so long I considered myself simply surviving good enough.  But there’s so much that I was missing.  Here is my list of 10 things I wish I would have known earlier about simply surviving anxiety and depression.   

10 Things I Wish I Would Have Known Earlier

Are you ready?  I am so excited to share this with you and hope it can shift your perspective if you can relate to any of it.  

1.  Settling for simply surviving is bullshit

Check it out.  So, I am a mom of seven and I am heading towards half a century in age.  Physically I work out and watch what I eat.  Everyone asks me why I’m so concerned about my appearance because I look great.  However, it’s always followed by … for a mom of seven or for someone your age.  Um…what?? No!

Or I hear, “why are you working out so much and worried about the way you look?  You are loved the way you are and perfect as is.  Duh?!  I know this 🙂  

I work out and watch what I eat so I can be healthier longer and exercise is a destresser for me.  Also, I am a mom and grandmom and a mommy empowerment coach so I need to be around for a while.  

The reason for the story is that this is what simply surviving is.  It’s a bullshit excuse not to achieve more.  Look, I know that anxiety and depression are real and it takes a toll.  I am not downplaying the seriousness at all.  What I am saying is that you have made it this far for this long.  Maybe, just maybe, you’re ready for next level stuff.  You are a mom so next level is all you all the time!

Settling for simply surviving is bullshit.

2. You are a mom, you are a fighter, you are a warrior

The next thing on the list that I wish I knew earlier was that I am a mom and that means more than is led to believe.  As a mom, you are not a survivor. You are not a fighter, you are so much more than that.  You may have started off as a survivor and then a fighter, but you’re a mom.  You are next level!

Let me explain this breakdown in more detail for you to understand.  You see, a survivor only has enough energy to focus on themselves and getting themselves through a situation.  What they have going on takes everything they have.  They focus on day-to-day.  There’s nothing more to give.  The kiddos have nobody and as a mom, even when you feel like this I know you overcome this moment and keep pushing forward.  Even when it feels like you’re running on fumes.  

So let’s say you are a fighter.  You fight every day because you believe in the fight against anxiety and depression.  Even when you want to quit on yourself you don’t because you’re a mom.  Putting on a mask every day to help your kiddos through their day is proof of this.  You are a champion.  You may think you are at this level.

But I’m gonna be bold and say you are more.  You see, a fighter will fight for themselves but when the fight gets tough they will flee even if it means others will be impacted.  When the fight gets tough do you leave your kiddos behind?  No, because you are a mom.  And if you have, cause it does happen, I’m sure you came back asap.  

What you likely do not know is that there’s even more than that to you.  You see, you are a warrior.  A warrior knows when the battle is necessary to be fought and reserves her energy for her priorities.  The only thing that makes her irrational is her love for her kiddos.  She believes in expanding her limits and embracing challenges.  A warrior is dedicated to her cause and sees opportunities everywhere she goes.  

I know it doesn’t feel like you are a warrior right now.  But the divine feminine warrior lives within you.  She’s begging to be freed.  I wish I would have known earlier that she was within me.  

3. Your kiddos need you completely

Simply surviving anxiety and depression is depriving your kiddos of the most awesomest person that exists, their mom.  I thought I was doing my kiddos a favor by putting up a strong front to my suffering.  I was not.  

If I had known earlier that they could see past all the smiles and laughs and see the sadness that existed deep within me I would have fought for myself a long time ago.  I deprived my kiddos and myself of creating some beautiful, genuinely authentic happy moments.  

Your kiddos don’t need a part of you.  There’s a beautiful, bold, and brilliant person they need completely.  Simply surviving robs you and them of that.  Your kiddos need you completely.

4. Anxiety and depression are not only mental illnesses

Ummm, yes I can see your eyes rolling in disbelief.  But then I am going to ask you this question.  Why don’t the medication and endless therapies cure anxiety and depression if it’s a mental illness only?  

All I’m asking is for you to keep an open mind for a moment.  So, anxiety and depression do impact the mind, 100%!  But it also impacts you physically correct?  And it can destroy your hopes and desires also so that’s in your soul.  At the core of who you are.  It makes you feel lost and trapped as a person. 

There’s almost no escaping it and your energy is in the dumps.  In conclusion, anxiety and depression exist in your entire being.  I wish I would have known earlier that addressing anxiety and depression as a mental illness only does not work.  A holistic approach makes more sense.  

And if you’re anything like me.  I needed a more uniquely designed approach to overcome my anxiety and depression.

5. You have more control of this than you’re being told

Now, I definitely wish I understand way earlier about simply surviving anxiety and depression.  When you are in survival mode it feels like you’re constantly being chased by a wild animal.  You have no control over the situation and you simply need to survive.  Who wants to live life constantly in that mode?

Anxiety and depression do not have that much control over you.  If you get the thought that simply surviving anxiety and depression is enough out of your mind then you will free up space to find a solution.

I wish I would have known earlier that simply surviving was really triggering my anxiety and depression more.  

6. Medications and therapy-the diagnosis; crutch or blessing

I am so grateful for every doctor and therapist in the world.  They are intelligent and dedicated to finding answers.  When I finally understood what was going on with me it was a blessing.  However, I’m a special kind of person so living a life on medications with crazy side effects was not for me.  And as a busy mom, going to endless costly therapy sessions that only provided temporary relief didn’t cut it either.

You see, after a while of trying both therapy and meds, it became a crutch.  Anytime anything challenging in life came up that I did not want to handle, I blamed my anxiety and depression.  I allowed my mind to become overwhelmed immediately and shut down because of my diagnosis.  

I wish I would have known earlier that the desire to simply survive anxiety and depression would allow the diagnosis to become a crutch.  

7. You’re teaching your kiddos how to simply survive

I know how important my role as a mom is.  Heck, that’s why I pretended for so long that everything was okay with me and that I could control it.  It’s also why I brushed it off until I couldn’t anymore.  

Going to therapy and taking the meds was so that I could get better.  Even when I felt numb because of the meds I kept doing it to simply survive anxiety and depression.  I believed I was being a good mom by doing this.

I wish I would have known earlier what I was really doing, because the meds and therapy were not working and because I was simply surviving, was teaching my kiddos how to simply survive.  

Years later, I had kiddos who were suffering from anxiety and depression and hiding it as well.  I wonder where they learned that from?  It’s no secret that kiddos see and know more than you think they do.

8. Surviving is good but your life is meant for more

Man, I know there are going to be so many that read this and think I don’t like you.  You are making me feel bad for getting through this as well as I can.  Surviving is working for me and it’s good.  I sincerely apologize because that is not my intent at all!

My point to all of this is that surviving is good, but your life is meant for more.  Everything has its levels in life.  Sometimes we need to be able to simply survive and if that’s you no judgment.  Do your thing!!  

This message is for those moms that are simply surviving and are ready for the next level but just aren’t aware that there is a next level.  For those moms that are repeating, “there’s gotta be a better way”.  Then, that’s how you know that you are meant for more than simply surviving.  

That something within you is your spirit telling you that it’s time to level up and do more than simply survive anxiety and depression.  I really wish I would have known this earlier about simply surviving.  But I am so grateful I know it now!

9. Simply surviving gets overwhelming after a while

Remember earlier that I told you that simply surviving is like being chased by a bear.  You’re constantly in fight, flight, or freeze mode.  Eventually, simply surviving life like this will get overwhelming and it will land you back in that deep, dark hole of anxiety and depression.  It will leave you feeling like you made a ton of progress just to end up in the same spot.  Or maybe even feeling in a worst position.  

I wish I had known earlier that simply surviving is not sustainable over a long period of time. The overwhelm physically, mentally, spiritually, and within your soul will become too much to endure.   This is what creates the rollercoaster ride of emotions to start all over again.

The ride is already played out.  It’s time to get off.  I wish someone would have told me earlier that I could get off.  

10. There’s a more effective way than simply surviving anxiety and depression

This one is one that I had to figure out all on my own.  It was a tough journey but I made it through.  I wish I had known earlier that there’s a more effective way than simply surviving anxiety and depression.  It would have to be uniquely designed for me but with core foundations that addressed anxiety and depression in its entire existence.

The method is so effective that within three months there were immediate results that I reapplied month after month and I finally began to see results.  The limiting belief that simply surviving anxiety and depression was all that I had left for my life was broken.  Now, I see the rollercoaster ride as I approach it and smile at what hell of a ride it was and pass it by.  My energy is better placed elsewhere.  It’s spent on everyone who matters most including myself!

All In All

Simply surviving anxiety and depression is okay.  However, when the challenges and battles begin to wear you down it may become a lot to ask.  There is a better way.  You are a mom and simply surviving is only a temporary solution.  Very similar to medications and therapy.  If you are ready to overcome anxiety and depression and go from simply surviving and become a Wonderfully Optimistic Warrior (W.O.W. Mom) so you can live life energetically alive and fiercely free to enjoy being a mom again then you’re gonna wanna take advantage of the opportunity below.  

What’s Next?

If you could relate to anything in this list I would love to know.  Please feel free to comment below.  Or if there’s something you would like to share, I wanna read it!  Thanks so much for taking the time to read this post.  Until next time!  Remember, you’re special to me and so many others mommy!